• mirandamarschalk

Negative Self Talk: Why It’s Worse Than You Think

What is Negative Self Talk? It can be as simple as joking about one’s self and one’s abilities or giving self-criticism, self-punishment, and self insults.

Why do we do it? Sometimes we tell a joke to fit in or look like we can laugh at ourselves. Sometimes we do it to improve on our performance. Sometimes we do it to set limits that we don’t realize under current circumstances are not obtainable and sometimes we do it because we truly believe we deserve it. ​

Whatever the reason, it is very harmful to our mental health and needs to stop.

How we treat ourselves can affect our sleep, our eating habits, and how we interact with others. We can become irritable and short-tempered, shy and withdrawn, or overly nice. We can find ourselves not getting a good night’s sleep, over or under eating, and making bad food choices. As well, we might not be treating others as we should. We need to find the route of the issue and deal with it head-on. Maybe our parents, teachers or friends speak to us that way as well and we believe what they say. Maybe we have had a lot of setbacks in our lives and believe we are a failure. Maybe we were never given positive feedback and respect.

It’s not a simple fix to stop Negative Self Talk; it is attached to deep-rooted interactions with others and with ourselves. Therapy can help peel back the layers and assist with self-discovery. It is a safe place to let go of the past and forge a new path of acceptance, love, and understanding that you are perfect just the way you are. Sure we all have flaws and that’s what makes us human. We should work on them but they don’t make us unlovable, and shouldn’t make us unappreciated and disrespected.

​One way to combat Negative self-talk is to perform daily affirmations. Write them down 5 times in a row and then say them 5 times in a row. It also helps to look in a mirror.

E.g.: I am intelligent, smart, and worthy of love.

I am loved and understood. I am beautiful inside and out.

Life Coaching can also address this by helping you to set and achieve goals while improving your thoughts about yourself, and giving you that wonderful feeling of accomplishment.

Whatever path you need to follow to rid yourself of Negative Self-Talk, take it, because you’re worth it.

You are important, you are worthy and most of all you are human, and no one can ask for anything more.

Stay safe!

Miranda Marschalk,

Psychotherapist & CLC